Balance 

The universe was created on the foundation of the cosmic laws of duality, balance, and harmony.  Everything and everyone in existence is governed by these laws.  It’s important not to limit yourself to the 3D or the material when you consider the wisdom I will I offer you regarding the necessity for balance.  Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Although his Laws of Motion were utilized to explain the forces at play on physical objects, it’s an undeniable truth that for every action or concept therein must also lie an equal opposite.  These polarities are necessary to maintain the balance.  Such is a cosmic truth of the universe.  Light and darkness.  Positive and negative.  Good and evil.  Life and death.  Up and down.  White and black.  Order and chaos. 

All that exists is composed of waves—like the electromagnetic waves of light—where energy is constantly travelling between the two polarities.  There will by highs, there will be lows, and there will lie times in between when all seems neutral.  As you awaken, you realize at some point along the way that you experience less times of extreme emotions or seemingly good and bad days.  This is because during your awakening process, you are gradually learning to create balance in all levels of your life, even if you aren’t consciously aware of it.  You learn to balance your internal and external worlds, learn to balance the feminine and masculine (the yin and yang) energies both within you and within your romantic relationship, learn to not give more energy to others than you are being given in return, and learn to balance your mind, body, and spirit.  Ultimately, you feel the most peace and happiness when you find the equilibrium in all aspects of your life, the harmony. 

I feel like the largest focus of my own awakening was to learn how to restore the balance in my own life.  I was out of balance in every aspect.  I had to learn to equally care for my mind, physical body, and spirit—to truly heal, you must work on all three equally.  I was incredibly drained of all energy and suffering from extreme burnout throughout my year-long awakening because I neglected to take as much care of my physical body as I worked to heal the mind and spirit.  I was also drained of energy and tired all the time because I was giving entirely too much energy to too many external forces without having the energy within to give out.  I had to learn about self-love and self-care in order to tend to my own inner energy, so I could give externally more freely.  I realized early on that in my relationships, I was always giving myself—I was always at their beck-and-call when they needed support or comfort or company for any reason—but sadly, I was not getting that support in return.  My relationships were one-sided.  I was the grounded one that could always be relied on in any situation to offer help and support in any form, and in withdrawing my energy from my relationships in order to focus on my own shadow work, I realized this support and reliability wasn’t returned.  I was being used and taken advantage of for being overly kind and generous, and I sadly hadn’t realized it.  My relationships weren’t balanced and healthy.  I was simply kept in their company to reparent their inner child wounds.  Thankfully, since I had withdrawn my energy due the shadow work and could see things more clearly, I stopped giving my energy toward these relationships, and some I cut off completely.  But I feel much better within for doing so.  I also was way too entirely in my feminine energy, and needed to learn to restore the masculine energy within myself.  For the purpose of this article, although I suggest restoring balance in your life in the earlier aspects, my intention here is tell you how to restore the balance between the feminine and masculine energy within yourself. 

No matter which energy you are in essence, it is necessary for you to incorporate more of the other energy within to be your best You.  This is why the Yin-Yang symbol so perfectly reflects true twin flame relationships: because each half contains a part of the other and the two halves lie in perfect balance. 

For the Feminine Energy to Find Balance: 

This was my journey.  I’ve always been a caring, kind, and generous being.  The problem with the feminine is that because of this love of nurturing and caring for others comes first, you wind up neglecting your own health, needs, and boundaries and turn to people-pleasing ways even if it’s a detriment to yourself.  This as you can imagine is unhealthy and invites in the opportunity for others to take advantage of and use you.  You also don’t get that support and reliability returned—because why would they when they can get it for free?  Then you are left drained all the time and feel even more alone when once in a blue moon you need someone to support you and you don’t get it.  Here’s the masculine things you need to incorporate into your life if you resonate with this: 

• Establish Healthy Boundaries:  Don’t rely on someone else to protect you.  You do that for yourself by establishing and asserting your own healthy boundaries.  I know, we all hear this way too many times, but it’s true.  In the beginning, I used to think, “I do have boundaries, and I do say “no”, but people just don’t listen”.  And, to an extent it was true.  I did have boundaries, and in the worst of situations I still repeatedly said “no”.  However, I wasn’t asserting these boundaries enough for it to be healthy.  Saying “no” isn’t going to stop someone from taking what they want if they know they will suffer no real punishment for doing so.  I mean to say, I allowed these disrespectful people to stay in my energy field and in my life when I should have cut them out entirely for not respecting my boundaries.  So, in this sense I was NOT asserting my boundaries.  No matter what level of ‘having and asserting healthy boundaries’ you find yourself at, make sure you find where your energy ends and others’ begin and fully assert them with all your power.  If you feel someone doesn’t respect them still, do not allow them into your life. 
• Learn Self-Care:  In order to care for others, you have to have the energy within yourself to give in the first place.  I often found myself giving and giving, and I was drained all the time.  This was because I was giving more energy to external forces that I didn’t have within me to give.  I know you want to care for and nurture others, but you need to understand you are not infinite energy in this state.  Raise your own level of self-importance at least to the same level of the importance of others to you.  You deserve your own love as much as others.  Take care of yourself first.  Take nutrition supplements if you have to, take long bubble baths with a bottle of wine, try a new face mask, give yourself a manicure, go for a walk outdoors, buy yourself a treat every once in a while.    This will tend the fire so to speak within you and give you more energy to help others.  This is necessary for the feminine. 
• Follow Your Own Passions:  Everyone has their own things they enjoy, and their own goals and ambitions they want to achieve in life.  No matter what the circumstance, don’t give these up for anyone.  They are a part of you.  There are more things within you that stir your passions other than love and sex.  Don’t be so willing to sacrifice your own ambitions for someone else, whether it’d be a friend, romantic partner, or relative.  You can do so much more than give yourself to farther someone else’s ambitions.  If you’re going to farther anyone’s ambitions, make it your own.  You are important, you’re goals matter.  You may be meant to achieve something big that will be of an even greater service to the highest good of all.  Don’t give up! 
• Keep only Balanced Relationships:  Easier said than done.  Most feminines are generally kindhearted and generous to everyone, including strangers.  But there is a difference between simply being kind and well-mannered, and giving your energy to them by supporting or helping them.  Not everyone deserves for you to care for them.  Make sure you are not giving too much to someone without an equal return of energy.  Feminines are naturally nurturing—a motherly energy—which attracts both the people with inner child wounds and masculines.  Make sure you aren’t reparenting others’ inner child wounds by caring for them when triggered, as you are not helping them.  They need to heal those wounds on their own.  These people will not be able to return the energy you give to them and it drains you.  Don’t keep these types of people around if they don’t support you in return.  Remember that different energies give in different ways in relationships.  The feminine nurtures and cares, the masculine provides and protects. 

For the Masculine Energy to Find Balance: 

I remember way back in the day saying it was so hard to be the feminine energy in today’s society since it’s over-masculine.  But in truth, you just have to be yourself.  It is actually a far more difficult journey for the masculine energy to incorporate feminine aspects into their internal world.  There is simply too much disserving conditioning and stereotyping that needs shed on their end.  I still see so many masculines on this journey struggle with finding confidence in showing emotion.  I feel great empathy for their circumstances.  But either way, it’s necessary for them to find a healthy balance.  Here are some of the feminine aspects I recommend those on this path do incorporate: 

• Release Your Desire to Control:  Control is a masculine distortion.  You cannot control anything outside of your own reactions in any given circumstance.  Others cannot be bent to your will, nor can your emotions.  You can’t simply will your emotions away by force.  Masculine energy is the energy of action, logic, and decisiveness.  Feminine energy is the energy of receptiveness and openness.  Be receptive of your own feelings.  You can’t block them out.  When you think of it this way, the balance is in accepting your emotions as part of you and formulating a logical sense of what you feel. 
• Accept Your Intuition Will Not Always Make Logical Sense:  Sometimes you will simply know something without your mind knowing why.  Learn to trust the guidance of your instincts and intuition.  It’s less here about why your intuition is telling you something, and more about what it is actually telling you.  Trust you don’t always need to know why.  Getting caught up in the why will have you seeing opportunities pass you by.  Remember, however useful the mind is, it can be trapped by the ego.  You may need to pull back from the situation at hand in order to see the truth with clarity.  I find a solution to be to look at the consequences that would follow either choice, then choosing based on which consequences you’re willing to bear.  Find a balance between the clear mind and the inner wisdom of your intuition. 
• Stop Fearing that Others Will Reject You If You Show Emotion:  One, you shouldn’t allow others’ opinions of you to affect you.  Have confidence in your true self.  Everyone has emotions, regardless of their energy.  Two, seeking outside validation is ego-based.  When you seek approval from others, you give your own power away to them in the process.  If someone judges you poorly, it’s only a reflection of their poor self-image and conditioning of the ego.  Instead, be damn happy you have the wisdom to break free from the ego.  Rejection is just divine protection. 

Think about the four elements and tarot.  Air (Swords) and Fire (Wands) are the masculine elements and suits.  Swords represent decisiveness, clarity of the mind, logic, reason, and the cutting of things not serving you.  Wands represent passions, goals/ambitions, and fast, fiery action.  Water (Cups) and Earth (Pentacles) are the feminine elements and suits.  Cups represent emotions and intuition.  Pentacles represent the material world—after all, we’ve all heard of Mother Earth and Mother Nature.  Someone who is balanced internally has found a way to incorporate all four of these aspects.  Personally, I feel the more balance between these aspects that I create within opens me up even more to the wisdom of the fifth element:  Spirit (also called, quintessence, ether, energy, etc.).  Choose what resonates with you.