Society has a way of conditioning us to believe we are unworthy, or less than we truly are. Advertisements everywhere in forms galore beat into us that we aren’t beautiful unless we’re tanned, our teeth are white, our hair voluminous, and our figures narrow. We’re taught that we have to ‘grow up’, and are groomed since childhood to think that we must set aside all of our childlike traits and thoughts—innocence, wonder, belief in impossible things, belief in magic, faith in things that cannot be seen with our eyes, playfulness, etc.—as soon as we reach a certain age and be participate in the ‘real world’. We’re taught that to be openly feign our sexual nature and sensual desires is wrong; that doing so means we are trashy or slutty (female), or a player (male). We’re taught that we must force ourselves up to adhere to the daily mundane schedule of work, eat, sleep, repeat and anything outside of this is outrageous. We’re also conditioned to fear for our survival, as if we don’t have enough money, we will not be able to survive. This causes us to prioritize working (for a less than sufficient amount of money), leading us believe our value as a person is limited to how much money we’re paid for our work. For so many reasons, we’re groomed to believe we have no real value as a human being, that work, eat, sleep, repeat is all we are.
Seeing this, it’s really no wonder why so many us are constantly plagued with thoughts or intuitive feelings since childhood that there has “got to so much more than this provincial life”. …Because truthfully, there is. We just have to take the opportunity to explore this feeling and see where it leads.
The funny thing is, this actually is exactly what we must begin to see in order for us to build authentic self-confidence in this reality.
I stress the ‘authentic’ because I am referring to confidence in our true selves, in our inner selves. We are so much more than our outer appearances, and far deeper than our words and behaviors. If these are all we focus on, we’ll only ever have a superficial understanding of reality. You are a multi-dimensional, energetic being, and to think of yourself as only your human body is doing yourself a great disservice. So, do I want you to build confidence in the perfection of your body, or the grace and poise in your behavior around others? NO! To do this is confidence of the ego, and only limited to this human experience. Awakening is a journey of eternal growth, healing of the soul, a metamorphosis beyond time. In effect, the aspect of this journey that builds your confidence is also on a soul level—what you’re building confidence in is who your soul is in essence, confidence in the knowing of where your essence ends and others’ begins, confidence in your ability to discern what isn’t resonant with your essence and the confidence in yourself that you can assert yourself when someone presses these boundaries. To build your confidence on this level will be an eternal confidence that you’ll carry forthwith into future timelines and human experiences. If you ever doubt this, be more mindful of the changes you see in your behavior and decisions in your dreams. This will help you because in dreams you live out other dimensions without any ‘conscious control’, and therefore, live more in a manner more clearly representative of the soul healing and soul work you have done thus far.
You may try to argue that you can lucid dream, and therefore, have conscious control; however, I could go into a whole long spiel of how control is an illusion and only limited to the ego. If you try to control your dreams, not only will you be missing out on the healing that could be taking place in those dimensions that are helping you release shadows, but you will also make it more difficult to discern your ego from your true essence and make the healing journey more difficult for you.
Tangent over, anyway, how do build authentic confidence in yourself as a part of this journey? Well, who’s to say really? Everyone is different, as is everyone’s journey. But even if the steps, foundations, or essence of people differ, the confidence must be built nonetheless. This journey asks of you, in tandem with building self-love, to build confidence in yourself and flourish. As mentioned above, you must build confidence in who your soul is in essence, confidence in the knowing of where your essence ends and others’ begins, confidence in your ability to discern what isn’t resonant with your essence and the confidence in yourself that you can assert yourself when someone presses these boundaries. But how do you do it?
Well, as with everything else, it’s done in steps, over time. First, you have to excavate your true self, your soul’s genuine essence from within your shadows and faulty conditioning. You can’t build eternal confidence in yourself until you know yourself who you truly are. Discover this, and you’ll begin to build confidence. For example, I am in essence water. My energy is that of water. Water is the physical manifestation of energy that is cleansing, purifying, healing, soothing, calming, and comfortable. Therefore, my essence helps those who experience it feel cleansed, healed, nurtured, soothed, etc. Metaphysically, water also symbolically represents love, creativity, physic abilities, and complete and utter emotional and soul-level fulfillment. To be held in MY energetic embrace, you will feel loved and fulfilled. It kind of feels like sitting under a flowing waterfall. I’ve even been inside my own soul which was farther confirmation. In knowing this truth about myself, everything else fell into place. My true divine purpose in this lifetime was confirmed. So, for you, you first need to discover your own spiritual essence, and who you truly are eternally.
Once you’ve accepted your true essence, this becomes the strong foundation necessary for your authentic confidence to be built upon. As long as you are confident in who you are, your true boundaries are easily distinguishable. You will naturally come upon any and all things that try to push those boundaries and will certainly try to tell you otherwise; however, there is magnificent beauty in this. All of these things, people, and conditionings that oppose these boundaries show you more clearly who you are, what you will not be compelled to do, and in effect, build your confidence more and more as you assert these boundaries.
What do I mean by this? Well, no one knows you better than you know yourself. Only you can truly distinguish where you end and where everything else begins. This means that when your boundaries are tested, you must defend them. Even it is something seemingly small, it helps tremendously in building confidence. Throughout my journey, I began to try new experiences, meet new people, and think in outlandish ways. But in doing so, I discovered what I did and didn’t like doing, began to truly trust in my ability to block out those who I intuitively sensed were not of my vibration, and learned the reality that mundane problems can be solved with out-of-the-box solutions. These steps I had taken over time built up self-confidence I needed.
You will find your confidence in yourself again. It will happen in steps, so do not despair if you feel you haven’t built these foundations yet. It’s often in retrospect that you’ll notice you have already built this confidence in its magnificence. I did all of those things mentioned previously, but one day, it simply hit me like a ton of bricks that I could assert myself and that I in fact knew myself, realizing in that moment that I had built full confidence in myself. I hadn’t realized I was building it while it was happening, and I feel this may be the case for many of you as well.
In any case, discover who you are and embody it with confidence.
Not Your Cup of Tea 